My Exploits Uncensored

1/8/19 - 3:27 AM Beautiful accent Heart of gold We met by accident On a day so cold. No sweater, no shoes yet what you saw was precious 10 years your senior You could be her muse Be it a vibe, connection or Sexual attraction Told you she'd come back and she made it happen. In search of something real regardless of its' anatomy Addicted to your touch, attention and flattery. Believe no dodgy dates even matter to me We gonna sort some things out then see if we're meant to be. LA ---> DAM ---> And Back again 1/8/19 - 3:43 AM My mental game strong Still I play along Like habits I can't break In a society I don't belong. Every time I close my eyes My mind creates new prose Grab my pen and my journal Flashlight on my phone Stay quiet and still Or my brother will know Super absurd Prisoner in my own home Like I need company Or feel it impossible to be alone.

10/20/18 Often forget, life's a trip One door is broken then walk away from it There are so many more Calling your name to explore Don't waste time Don't be bored Misery loves company So don't entertain it anymore The world is big, he told me Real connections are rare Rid through the raft, no time to spare Before we know it, we're old in the blink of an eye then exit this world Become a star in the sky That's why while on earth My light I want to shine It's all for the taking and I want it all to be mine Never again will I waste my precious time.

10/2/18  Chaotic, symbolic, methodic times Upside down and backwards like this book of rhymes Matters of the heart shouldn't be a crime Yet all falls apart after one night Can't cry, not sad, silence unwinds Crazy American wants to have a good time She called me "wild with respect" She loved my vibe All new friends and I might just survive Still not homesick all things aside I can make it anywhere find someone new to pull my hair Hate to leave anything unfinished but I'll skip the bullshit Sorry I tried -  Hope they're able to fix your ride _____________ Later that day: Close your eyes, make a wish Pretty little liar, I'm not convinced You need space, fine, I'll simply replace 12 hours later I got me a new boo and still then you call with your jealousy Say you can't deal with me so why you on my phone? There's plenty  of others I can pay for and bone. Shit - I'm stressing ...

4/24/07 - 2:53 AM Love songs play slow Head hung low Can't ever let it go You think you know But you don't have a clue What's life without you? Many shades of blue A love I never knew. A love I can't reach Hear my heart preach Please somebody teach Pray for your speech. Spoken word out loud Don't need a crowd Rhymes well endowed Can you hear me now? An outsider, don't fit it Loving you's my eternal sin Won't ever win Didn't ever begin. You stare at walls I wait for your calls And tag bathroom walls Can't move at all. Stuck in this position Need to clean my kitchen Tired of my bitchin'? Your picture I'm kissin' Phases of sadness Occasional madness Who done planned this? You coulda had this. Tired and weary Eyes a bit teary Sobbing can you hear me? Need you near me. Can't wait to visit Show somethin' explicit Imagine you in it Down legs I drip New G35 Wanna go for a ride? Shot gun, pass...

5/2/13 - 2:31 AM Thursday Unglued at the seams baby, I'm falling apart. Nothin' does me better than gettin' your art. Don't know if it's cuz yo talent or the thought you put in it - or perhaps reality, it simply cuz YOU did it. I mean, send me a crumpled, shredded mess and I'd cherish it always. Such a huge claim on my heart ain't no hot dogs in hallways or little dick spit, you so thick and I'm a captive audience - it's so apparent like my red, drunk spottiness. No excuse, it ain't you responsible for my bobbin' and weavin', it's my own fault for the fantasy world I believe in - Just somethin bout you keep me beyond enamored. If Daisy Duck was a chicken, I'd be Cornel Sanders cuz I'd keep fighting cases to keep fuckin' Cause, Just Cause I never met another nigga like him and I know I never will, though I try to keep it trill, let's just keep it real. When it comes to you I'm always spinnin' the wheel, viciou...

12/19/15 - 9:25 AM Saturday Uh-Oh insanities comin' I'm stumblin', foot swollen still stoned about to take a shot of that Patron nope it gone So I'll work on this VOD Smoked a cigg Oh God! How many times  - can my head spin swift on a swivel before the clock strikes 10 AM These be those days Bender runs into the night Somebody hide my phone embarrass myself is right. Text message assassin Razor tongue funny thumb free data's runnin' light though it's unlimited Why be limited? Please delete those - Alright? 12/19/15 - 9:44 AM Insecure, and so sincere He under your skin On sight Batting first you were the worst, Didn't get on base the entire night, Naturally jealous despite I gotta baby daddy, alright? But no, it ain't him I got options Playin' my role right Still it was sweet for you to keep flirting with me all night like we in middle school Circle me if I'm who you like. Don't bite your...

12/15/15 - 1:00 PM Tuesday I am the most sane, insane person on this earth! Black socks, white legs, pink tank, pink tooth brush, two weeks unshaven lookin' like a white girl after two days, just pacing back and forth in a big ass bathroom that I've got to hire someone to clean! Living the dream, fuck everything ain't what it seem but what do you mean? Petal to the metal, light don't have to be green. Just open your mouth then try to scream, it's OK to admit it you've always been a queen of fairies and dairies ummmm them blizzards are so good. Why there no DQ's in my hood? I mean this IS  ******* and I do live on ******, no mamn' only Baskin Robbins, Phil Collins, Tupac is Still Ballin' in Hawaii, Bitch I might Be, who left the drugs on the table, WHO? WHO?

2006 Flaky and distant, I won't stay persistent. Busy with priorities that really mean pushin' shit, feelin so important whatcha workin to get? A free high and a full tank so you can drive around all day, maybe deep down you love being that guy who's phone blows up through the night, jump outta bed after sex so they can stay high? Riiiiight...oh and so curious why you had a box of condoms anyway - it's usually not something you fiddle with at someone's house while doin' dope deals then be like, "Hey this cock ring I'm taken", just sayin, patterns aren't mistaken and head games I won't partake in, feeling different? Fuckin say it, but if left to assume the worst I won't be responsible for feelings hurt, plus I heard em all saying wish they knew what they had while they was gamin', you made your bed now go lay in it, tuck in your dope next to you, re-up five times a day, keep slangin' it, see ya around, you'll be hatin' ...

5/20/07 - 12:34 PM Jealousy, insecurity instills fear in me don't ever feel like I should compete Should be the object of your affection never put myself with a man who could be intercepted Nope, cuz I'm a bad bitch too sincere to deal with that shit Independent, worldwide, pushing my own six You're real cool but think I'ma have to switch Bout to get someone not all in the mix. So go get drunk then come back and hit Won't be at home wonderin' about it History lays the foundation Happened before, happen again n that's why we won't be datin' Saw her try to grab you on the way to the car think I didn't see because I didn't say shit but I know what I saw, won't be that fool So all your friends think I don't know what you do Fuck a bunch of San Clarete ain't nothin in the water but a bunch of dirty feet Only bitches who don't work, gotta work the street Patrollin' the clubs waitin to meet Some sucka, a b...

7/17/07 - 3:13 AM Some people hate every response they receive but nothing is worse than silence. Expressionless, lacking emotion, body still. This is the most powerful, confusing, maniac response of them all. You are left to decipher the mind of another because there's no communication. The battle fought in your own head becomes more dramatic than the issue at hand. It's arrogant and inconsiderate to respond only when and if you feel like it. It's frustrating to hear only what you feel like telling me. It makes me stand-offish and disconnected to what's real. Maybe what's real to me is only in my head. Maybe I'm accessing the situations all wrong and mislead myself into believing what I want. I don't really know how I could possibly understand what you're feeling, how should I get in sync with someone so mysterious? You reach for your phone. Nice. You think I'm writing him, I'm sure. It's 3:25 AM. I'm thinking about you. You're tal...

9/12/02 Reflection of Myself The combination of events leading up to this point in my life have led me to the conclusion of my not being able to be alone. I'm not sure if I fear it exactly, I'm just incapable of it. All of my life I've had a companion, something following along my path with me every step I took. In school growing up I was consistently among the "popular" groups and was always accepted. Although having numerous friends, I've always had one BEST friend. One sidekick. Me and this person constantly attached at the hip, sharing intimate and personal details of our lives. And as much as I love(d) this person or truly believe I couldn't live a day without them, anything could happen to where I switch my sidekick. The reasons could be good or bad or so simple as a move or change of interest. Since I started dating, I've moved from one boyfriend to the next. I've strung people along until a new one was found. I've stayed in unhappy...

12/28/06 - 4:21 AM Aggressively aggravating Overly involved Constant suggestion Know it all. Creatively challenges two blind eyes Artistically retarded appropriately applies. You've got skillz imagination unique Vision inviting Colorful streak. Promotional flyer Jewel case cover One-of-a-kind incredible lover. I'll try to kick it You do what you do, Never stop talking I thought you knew?

1/11/19 - 1:12 AM Hanging up on me so ridiculous All of a sudden act conspicuous, when I know someone always listenin' to us. Even in our chats, I keep it professional, leave out things you don't want no one to know - respect your privacy, still beside me you tell me to read then hang up when I go too deep. Immature, unrealistic & afraid of the truth Could never really speak my mind that's why I stay out the booth n stay off the mic Cuz I avoid the risk of taking offensive to new heights I call Keno Lite Bright My booty Chyna white You a dry lunch go fly a kite Get it stuck in a tree try to climb it then fall Break a bone, no break em' all, Rollin' eyes Rollin' ankles every time you call, remind me of a doll you're so fake Bullshit antics I choose to partake in, what I'm sayin is stop playin' obnoxious and annoying transparent to your core. I'm a glutton for punishment either that or I'm a whore. W...

1/9/19 - 9:43 AM Wasteman Stay in your place man When my pimp hand reprimand Gon drown like quicksand. I'm so aggressive, so possessive a bit incessant when I'm textin' Compulsive obsessive Wedding dress pearlescent Not white, always looking for a fight Start some trouble Scratch & bite, dangerous at night Words blaze in my head Shuffle guys in my bed another double's what I said Pump my liver full of lead Can't feel it - emotionless Could do with a lil less - Booze, boys, financial stress. My life like my room & car it stay a mess. Hahaha stay laughing Mentals so taxing Brain bleeding need a maxi Petty little playas act like they can hang, they cannot Can't, won't, don't, nope Never stop.

1/1/19 - 1:44 PM OG Overtly Gaming Obsessively Generous Obviously Gangsta Opinionated Greatly Opposite Generic Outwardly Genuine Outlasting Guys Obscenely Gymnastic Overly Gratuitous Openly Guessing Oddly Glamorous Originally Goofy Outbursts Galore Outward Galactic Outlandishly Guarded On-time Goals Organically Gifted Overthinking Guilt Ordering Gadgets Occupying Gazes Offering Guidance Organized Genre Otherwise Giggly Optimistically Gambling Orchestrating Growth Officially Gluttonous Occasionally Gullible  Old-fashioned Goodbyes Offensive Glares Obtrusively Galavanting Oblivious Genius Obligating Gratification Objectionable Guarantee Obediently Gregarious Outright Genial Outspokenly Graphic Overwhelming Gestures

1/1/19 - 9:59 AM Not as merciless as I portray things I say bout player ways only true some days, never games on Sundays Leave that for the Lord, less I get bored Always got 10 minutes to pick a fight throw a jab, or four Causin' trouble, burst your bubble then we cuddle, say no more Make your birthday your worst day Leave you wanting more. Honest-ly, I wouldn't fuck with me Too sweet, upbeat, shady & discreet Killing with my kindness & generosity deflecting all suspicion innocently. Make you cry cuz I hung you out to dry then you textin how you missin me It's too easy, really - Looking for a challenge, Worthy opponent Who doesn't have a wishbone Where his backbone supposed to be Actin' like a YES man, No opinion to speak Better have a big dick I'm a size queen N thick skin cuz I'm mean My tactics tongue in cheek bothered in a week, get away Go play in the middle of the street Rush hour traffic, make it happen Write a ...

1/1/19 - 9:12 AM Why do I get jealous I got a few on the side - Or are you on the side Since you're on the other side of the world? In my head I'm your girl but I sense when you've lied. Be a bit slicker to hide Like even if here I were to commit I'd still talk to you all the time Guess that's not really commitment but that's fine - Suppose when I want attention I need it, greedy & immediate Investigate you if I don't receive it Build a whole case then plead it Press send then delete it so my others can't read it. Hahahaha I'm evil believe it Heart on my sleeve See it bleeding? When insecure I start cheating Hurt them before they hurt me then cry how there's no loyalty When the culprit usually I be Never mess up a name cuz I call em all "Cutie"

12/30/18 - 9:00 PM How am I you ask? I'm doing just fine Over here ruining my life One day at a time Mastermind behind the madness No sobriety, no sadness Crash the car, end up cashless 3 hours ain't sleep, more like a cat nap Woke up & wrote a battle rap Sorting all the thoughts in my head Make some more bad decsions another baby end up dead Instead I'd rather watch Drop Dead Fred Pretend nothin ever happened.

12/30/18 - 7:05 AM You'll never find another chick baddie as me Always in the know, on the go and make a mean grilled cheese. Call me Energizer Bunny Leave sleepin' for the weak Runnin' laps around my compi I never lose I got more haters, fans, clothes, ho's, foes than you While you dispose, I re-use Throwback season, old news My network could fill the Staples Center you at the neighbors' bringing ya own booze Choosy, floosey, often woosey it's a doosey, got nothin' left to prove.

12/23/18 - 11:25 PM I'm not a player OK maybe that's a lie but never my intention Perhaps the wrong time? Another always comes along Or did I choose the wrong guy? May act like I don't care and then cry inside - False sense of stability False sense of pride is the result when Pain & fear collide Bitter, defensive & paranoid these faults aside Dissect every word Looking for a lie Every text message a new case on Miami CSI.

12/23/18 - 10:55 PM Indian style Bathroom floor Say no more Invisibility Can't hear knocking Sweet security and privacy Intimacy sometimes Gotta be discreet All alone, by myself My safe haven. Used to be my closet But now it's overflowing with stuff & I can't sit Indian Style.

12/23/18 - 4:45 PM Fucked up how I want everybody to be all about me - when I'm all about three threatening to leave every time number four come knocking at the door. Then blame it on insecurity and how I been done dirty It's so dirty - the way I play How I sleigh Good girl by day You better do what you say cuz I'll investigate Player hate Manipulate to change the game Throwin salt in your wounds SS your new name. Want attention when I want it When you give it I don't need it Unless you're taller & a baller please proceed then & no, not conceited even if you've conceded to read between the lines I'll flip the script, 24 before even needed You get what you seein' biggest gamer & cheater Laugh it off, I drink a liter then write another heater.

12/22/18 - 3:20 AM Bubble baths and Battle raps Cat naps Asthma attacks Snapchats & Big facts Ass slaps Chocolate snacks Gimmie Dat Snicker bar Nice & hard Joyner Track Play it back Make it clap 6Lack Triple stack Jumbo Jack Marlboro pack Born to mack Racks on rack Never whack Sharp as a tack Still a brat

12/18/18 No face, no case a wasteman you ain't Let me elevate or help you proofread your phrase 2 minds better than 1 Pussyole's stay dumb take advantage often just for fun Lucky web's spun another like me Not likely son. Drip too hard Don't cum to close too many niggas gettin' played One things for sure game recognize game Got so much to lose but not a damn thing to gain, How in the world did this guy turn into a lame? But I'll tell you what, despite levelin' up neva seen another act humane in a situation hella compromisin' Cardinal sin absolutely not allowed Your maturity made me proud Even though you're part to blame Shouldn't have ever dipped I'm just sayin Please know they stay lined up Prayin your spot they'll replace I'll be straight up tell you to your face I got no trust & I'm jaded Mixed with the purest soul & heart of gold Ach*china say no more With me, roller coas...

DRAMA the day before your birthday...then my apology: Sorry for acting outta pocket. Surely wasn't trying to piss you off and have you walk out on me. We were having such a good time. I appreciate your honesty and how sweet you were to me. Yes, you're young but you know how to treat a lady. I know I can be a lot to deal with sometimes but I hope you only remember me with good memories and that we will still be cool. Would be great to see you again before I left the country, but if not, I'll understand. Either way, I hope you have a great birthday. MORE DRAMA on your birthday...then the aftermath: You're right, we come from different worlds No matter to me, Ride or die if I'm Your girl I gotta 100 fifty's if it'll keep the peace Know what I mean? Don't blow up my spot When you know he was a hot mess to begin with Brought him here & then I'm stressed. Tell me to shut up when it's your hiccup but never once did I count you o...

12/14/18 Pretty city Pretty ltty Fresh crisp air Unbrushed hair So unfair Don't you dare Start to care Stop or stare One way ticket to nowhere Keep comin' back Stay in your lane Stay outta pocket Cannot stop it Want it Cop it Pass the blame I dropped it Get real mad Walk out on me Swollen eyes Keep drinking Laughing gasses for the masses Chipmunk voices So classic

12/11/18 - 5:51 AM Variety of emotions evoked New chick of my ex called kinda got me provoked - And I realized difficult to deal with these guys always running from the tears in my eyes Years wasted hearing the lies Locked up, cheated or died now I call them "cutie pies" Why get attached? I don't want to cry Drink vodka, stay high feel nothing, yet still love hard getting fucked up slightly lets down your guard Let somebody in find out quick who's real Cuddle me at night baby I just wanna feel - Something, from Somebody Please prove you're not all the same I don't want to keep beating you at this game. Step up, do your part Get a job, don't be lame All the good love muscles come with side hustles. I'm the queen of scheme Surpass your profit when I blast you with a meme Know what I mean? I know you don't. Could spell it out for you but I won't. Busy with my own thing Good will hunting Softball bunting Yo...

FIRE CRACKER: written about me by my dear friend Blue Flowers Fire cracker She's the one most boys dream of when thinking things that aren't said out loud, Grown men wish on stars to play her game, Wild child won't live Life slow, Hers to live, hungry tastes all there is, A natural Fire Cracker You might get burned, She burns so bright can't help but want a turn. Thought you knew, Don't stand in her way, If you try to stop her Hells on the way, Grown child don't look her age, She'll walk the world and play the game. She'll break your heart by forgetting your name, The One...DGAF, the queen of all names, Love the ride... Dare you try... Never after will be the same.

12/11/18 Parting is such sweet sorrow Crazy Asian never knows about tomorrow Will she be in town? Or will she be away? Don't worry she'll text novels, she's got lots to say. In the meantime, I'll be such a good time Vodka & strict nine I'm like acid to your soul so we stay high Blow your mind Blow my money nothin' to it nothin' funny Bubble baths midday on vacation in The Hague first time for everything In my head I rap and sing watching videos of dancing, maybe write a blog for ya'll to read Take a shot take the lead cigarette, a cap of G Don't mind me while cross-fading mix it once, mix it twice even Santa's confused if it's naughty or nice. Then I'm out like a light Like a light Like a light - HEY! I'll play a lot of Drake cuz you said you hate it. All sentences start with a giggle texts end with LOL Pores sweating with sarcasm I'm going straight to hell that's fine, I don't ...

Spiritual Gangsta Promiscuous behavior Provocative by nature Commitment no thank ya Don't want to date her No chance to tame her Professional gamer Habitual line stepper text message tough guy You better never tell a lie although you're just one of five vines that I swing on Jet settin', she gone Salt Lake, OC, Holland ping pong Cuz "she love to get to on" getting faded, turn up bruh Whirlwind of madness Vodka makes her spastic Horny & gymnastic Don't sleep on the tactic. In the morning, please be going nothing happened if you're asked it. Don't catch feelings I stay plastered Master of disaster Black Widow bitch Sinister laughter probably break your heart but you'll be better after. I swear, I stare, lil sister my witness, all you lames always buzz kill my existence Admire your persistence No, actually I hate it. Were you always bitch made?

I've been writing my entire life. This is not my first blog although for the past 7 or 8 years I've not posted any of my writings online. The advancement of technology is just as much of a threat these days as it is amazing. Once something is online everybody can access it forever. What kind of boring blog would I have if constantly worried about business associates, family or boy toys taking offense or thinking of me differently? It would be complete censored bullshit! I dedicate this blog to my little sister and my best friend. Those two really know ALL of my exploits! They have heard all of my crazy experiences and stories and listened to many of my writings. Both have always encouraged me to write a memoir or book about the "telenovela" which is my life. After much mental debate I've decided to start this anonymous blog. It will forever remain anonymous because it will be 1000% uncensored. (Well I may still withhold a few things purely out of fear I'm ...